cheer me up.

I kind of had a terrible day today. It was just one on "those" days. It all started with it being suggested that I might have ADHD and from there it just escalated. I hate when I just don't feel good about things. I can feel myself pushing people away and not being able to react rationally to how I feel. Luckily, God created Adrien Brody and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. Nothing makes me happier than watching Mr. Brody being his ruggedly adorable self on my home television screen and tis the season to stuff one's self with seasonal treats like cookies with pumpkin in them. I feel better already but enough deflecting. I need to make some changes. I need to feel better for reals.

too.....

too hectic.

too sick.

too cold.

too busy.

too many choices.

too many people.

too many things to do.

too exhausted to walk down stairs to turn off the beeping alarm clock.

too hungry, not enough energy to make anything.

too much, too fast.

not enough time, energy, or caffeine in the world.

Connecting with old friends

This is Dar al-Wefaq. The women's shelter I taught in during the summer and the home to some incredible women.

This week, I got a friend request on Facebook from someone I thought was a stranger. Since Jordan, I have become accustomed to receiving odd friend requests from random Arabs. Fact: Arabs are the most interesting FB friends. They love to chat randomly and they love posting odd quizzes and gifts from games on their friend's wall. After awhile I stopped adding the random people who had found me on Facebook But this new request was different from the others.

The request was from an Iraqi refugee whom I had worked with while volunteering at the women's shelter she was staying at. I had a group of 4 Iraqi women at the shelter who treated me like I was one of their own. These four women were different from the other beneficiaries at the shelter because they were the longterm residents. All of them were waiting to be moved by the UNHCR to America or any country where they could start their lives over again. Daily life at Dar al Wefaq is not easy. The women who live their have no means of educational resources or ways of passing their time productively. Last summer, I was there only source of entertainment and outside communication. The grief, pain, and hopelessness the women feel while biding their time plunges every one of them into deeper states of unhappiness. Dalia was different. She was always so apt to learn and to try the activities I planned. She was one of my most diligent English students because she very much wanted to live in the U.S. I could not believe it when she chatted with me on Facebook last night. After over 9 months of living in this shelter she finally made it to the U.S. She isn't too far from me either. She is living in her own apartment in Arizona. She is incredible but I can't imagine how hard the transition has been on her. She has no job as of recently but I am sure their are organizations helping her with job placement.

A few weeks ago, I went to Salt Lake to go to a refugee mentor orientation. The exposure and experience I had with Iraqi refugees made me want to help them while in my own country. Unfortunately, I couldn't volunteer this semester because of schedule conflicts but hopefully my school schedule will not bear me down too much next semester. When I went to the IRC offices, I was overwhelmed with memories and feelings of awe towards the organizations our country has for refugees from all over the world. I just hope that maybe there will be a student or a volunteer who will help Dalia in her times of need. I can't imagine what it would be like to be so far away from your family and everything you know and just start over. She is an amzing woman and I am so happy she was able to find me. We have each other's number so I hope to stay close to this person who cared for me while I was in a foreign and sometimes scary place.

Dream room.

study partner

And the winner is..........

My sister was diagnosed with diabetes a few months ago and her life has been drastically different ever since. She submitted this picture to a photo contest for a diabetes group and she won. She is quite the wit. The blood is a little gross but it is a a daily reality for my kk. I love you, sissy.

being a grown up is hard

Recently, I have been receiving strange calls at odd hours in the day from some Oregonian number. I finally call the suspicious number to see what the people on the other line have to say and I discovered it was the bank calling. Wells Fargo to be more specific. Every grown ups worse nightmare is having the money peoples after them. The money peoples told me that I had over 100 dollars that I owed on my Wells Fargo credit card. I had a hard time accepting this reality since I never received a death sentence in the form of a card that can both build your credit or obliterate it in one foul swoop so headed to the place where all the money is kept to find someone to talk to about this issue. So, I spoke with Kim, a friendly accounts manager, and she helped me work things out but unfortunately working things out meant I had to dish out 98 bucks to pay some dumb overdraft charges. I learned the lesson of money management today like a real grown up.

Another added pleasure was getting a call my dad saying that my mother is worried about me getting married. She doesn't want me to a be a spinster like my older brother. She is worried I might pick a professional life over a family life.

I AM ONLY 21.